The Wii-Nut

4 years late. If you were 4 years late for something, you might as well not turn up at all. Imagine turning up for someone's 18th 4 years late. They'd be 22. Yet that's what I've done. Spurred on by a combination of my girlfriend gently nagging and the beautiful limited edition Mario Red console, I decided that I would reward myself. The first Paycheck from my new job, I rushed down to my local Gamestation after work, and picked it up. I had just bought a console that Grandmas and JLS are currently promoting.

Look at these Douchebags.

And I really like it. I reckon you've heard enough from absolutely EVERYONE on the subject, but it's a really enjoyable experience. I'm completely sold on the idea, and have been frankly blown away by the level of innovation the console sometimes comes up with.

I'm sure it'll gradually get less appealing over time, and it'll gather dust until the next Nintendo-developed title is released, but I'm ready for that, and fine with it. For the moment, however, I'm fully enjoying it. I was having a couple of beers and playing it with my girlfriend at the weekend when I figured it out. I had a moment of clarity, a breakthrough!

The Wii is a snack. a Peanut. No, a Wii-Nut!

If gaming is food, then the Wii is the snack element of it. It's a light bite, a bit of what you fancy in a small portion, that perfectly fills a hole with frivolity and brazen-ness. It's not classy, and it's not particularly well thought-out a lot of the time, but it's just what you need.

And I don't mean this in any derogatory way whatsoever. Of course I don't, I just told you how I'm absolutely loving it.

But imagine the Xbox or PS3 is like a meal. Depending on the game, it could be a steak dinner or a plate of crap. But it's aim is to fill you up, give you a full experience and be 'everything you need'. Most of the time, this is what I want. The DS and especially the PSP is a lunchbox. It's trying to fit the meal into a smaller form, but trying to give you it all still.

Mii. Bowling.

But the Wii, the Wii is a pub snack, and it's absolutely brilliant for it. When I'm having a few beers with my mates, or my missus, I don't want a meal. I want a bowl of peanuts there, for grazing and to allow the fun to flow, without anyone being bogged down. Same with my gaming. Wii-Nuts. Get it! Yeah I know, it's terrible, but it makes some kind of sense. The snack can be shitty, but it can also be brilliant. It could be a stick of celery, or it could be organic handmade honey-roast cashew nuts. See, you're now hungry from just reading that.

It's so good for it, too. I'll fire up Boom Blox and play it for 30 mins, get another beer, and then plug into Wii Sports resort and play a bit of Table Tennis, before deciding it's time for New Super Mario Bros Co-Op. All 2 player, all the time. It's an experience that demands human interaction, and demands company. It's a console that strips back to it's roots in the days of playing with others for the fun of it. No achievements, no online lag, no collectible gun camo. Just straight-up playability. Miyamoto made a bold move by dismissing all these things and more, but I finally get it. He's made the NES again. He's made games about family, and about friends, and about beers. He stripped it down, and to great effect.

And what a fantastic addition to my gaming, and to gaming in general. As time has indeed proved for the Wii, the market can accommodate both casual and hardcore audiences, and thrive. And those of us who sit in the middle? Well, we're getting spoilt.

Retro Monday: Super Mario All-Stars (SNES/Wii)

Within the last month, I've decided to finally succumb to my girlfriend's wishes and my inner Nintendo fanboy and purchased a Wii. I'm building up to some mega blog post filled with insightful metaphors and loads of fancy talking about it, but it's going to take me a while to summon up that kind of brainpower. In the meantime, let's talk about about Mario All-Stars. See, we CAN be topical! A Retro Monday that is both retro AND contemporary, the little Italian's plumbers greatest hits collection, or 'Now that's what I call the invention of game mechanics and industry-changing techniques and ideas'. Yeah, Mario always has been kind-of a big deal.

Released on Friday, Mario All-Stars is a compilation based on a Super Nintendo game, in which the 3 Super Mario Bros titles are put in one neat little package along with 'The Lost Levels' (Super Mario Bros 2 in Japan). All re-touched and re-done for the 16-bit era, the games were a great introduction to people who may have not played Mario before, and a great refresher course in those that did. All in a single package, I liked the game.

My main problem with the SNES game is the touching up though. As any die-hard Mario fan will attest to, the memories are what drives the series. When I switched on the SNES, the graphics overhaul was undoubtedly an improvement on the original, but it didn't feel the same. It felt a little more rounded, a bit too colourful for my personal tastes. I always thought it was a bit like eating an ice cream with extra sugar sprinkled on the top. Just a little too much.

Old Nes Super Mario Bros

New All-Stars Super Mario Bros

Nevertheless, it meant I got to play the Japanese Mario Bros 2, with it's invisible platforms and general bastardry, and got to properly get to grips with the Western Mario 2, which I never got a pop at first time round. Both were lovely additions, and the package itself was a delight. The little touch of the characters chatting before the title lights up was lovely, and it felt like real value, and a proper addition to a SNES collection.

This time round, it's a little more disappointing. Why? Because it literally hasn't changed.

In reality, it's a SNES Emulator on a disc. They haven't even bothered to fix the screen ratio properly. It's a pretty lacklustre attempt. One which, in my opinion, doesn't really celebrate the 25 years of Mario (we all know it's 27 really). What it does is more cement Nintendo's reputation for laziness when it comes to some of it's titles. Would it of killed them to add a little more to the package? The CD and booklet that came with the game was good, but the game itself could of been just that little more special.

I mean, they could of released a new package, included Super Mario World and a whole host of stuff. Put some Yoshi's Island on there? Paper Mario? All this would of EASILY fit on a Wii disc, and would have made it astonishing. I know it would of been more effort, and I know it might have taken a little longer, but come on guys, give the little plumber a bit of a celebration. He is getting on a bit, after all.

So what can I say? For a grizzled Nintendo veteran, the package was ultimately a tad on the disappointing side. I can see parents showing their kids this and getting them excited about the good old days, but for me, I just wish they'd done a bit more. I reckon you'd fare much better by getting yourself an original Nintendo Entertainment System, and blowing into a good old grey cartridge with 'Super Mario Bros 3' emblazoned up on it's plastic case. Either that or Mario Galaxy. Wahooooo.

The Wii- The Nes of Today.

Look at those gimps up there in that picture. Look at their put-on, advertising faces. Why is the dad crouching? What fucking game are they playing, for them all to look like such idiots? I'll be honest, I don't like the Wii. Until this week, when I visited family and played one properly for the first time.

After working at a well-known games retailer over Christmas, I learnt very quickly to identify the 'Wii Customer'. Family, clueless and often buying shovel-ware of the lowest order, or looking to buy 'that game where Ant and Dec mess about'. It's fair to say that the Wii has a completely different fanbase than that of the other 2 consoles. But after some serious thought, I think the Wii's installed base is the truest to gaming, and the real hardcore.

Think about it. When the original Nintendo Entertainment System was released (God bless you little Nes), the emphasis was on fun, family, and playing together. It was about playing Mario with your dad, it was about travelling to your cousins house who lived far away, instantly finding common ground by sticking on California Games and playing Hackey-Sack, it was about getting Snake, Rattle & Roll off your dad for Christmas, as well as the rest of the family gathering round and being impressed by Duck Hunt.

Many purists consider the Nes to be hardcore gaming at it's finest, and so by this rationale, I put forward the Wii to be in a similar vein, and a hardcore games console. It isn't for me, personally, but it is bringing families into gaming, it is getting a younger generation on board, and it is the only way I can get my Aunty to play computer games, even if it is virtual frisbee.

The Xbox and Playstation are all well and good for the next-level, the console for the people who played the Nes, and understand the fundamentals and mechanics and games, but what about those who are looking for a way in? We had it easy with the Nes, and up until the Wii, it was a pretty self-contained hobby. No longer.

I don't like the Wii. I don't like it's laziness, it's catalogue of shoddy games, but god-damn do I respect it. It's single-handedly saving our hobby from engulfing itself in it's own cliqueness. God bless you Nintendo, for being weird, for being different, and for taking all the money in the known universe. You've earnt it.

To Wii or not to Wii?

2nd Blog in, lets see how it goes.


Now this is a rant about the general public still Wii bashing in regards to amount of poop that's been released for it.
Now i can call a spade a spade and yes there has been a fair 'ol amount of poopins that has grace Nintendo white cash machine but I'm here today to point out the sweet chunky nuggets of gold!!

"God the Wii's shit, theirs nothing out for it" Ive heard Johnny Joe public cry, like any console 90% of titles released onto any platform are indeed shit. The good stuff finds itself cast aside to make room for e.g little land pet shop snuggle-bumfarm 2, the REALLY good stuff never gets a) released in this country and b) if it does you've gotta hunt to find it. NOT GOOD ENOUGH !!!
Wheres the marketing for these gems Nintendo, you say you're old school, true to the fans and yes i know that companies have got to make profit and everyone bows to the mighty dollar but COME ON!.

Check these =

• Okami - Amazing Delicious Japanese style, nobody bought it.




• A Boy and his Blob - brilliant re imagining of the NES classic, didn't sell




• Madworld - gory, grizzly, nasty, bloody aahhh nope




• Murimasa : The Demon Blade - wow! gorgeous amazing graphics, mmm nothing




• Tatsunoko vs. Capcom - We needed this shot in the beat'em up arm, they didn't !!




• Dead space extraction - great on rails title, scary game, an even scarier amount sold




• House of the Dead : Overkill - like a superb tarantino movie, that no-one watched




• Little king's story : intriguing attractive RPG that dropped off the earth




• Deadly Creatures - This creative but odd title had promise but disappeared.

I do love deep and challenging games which the Wii has offered with mainstream success, the likes of New Super Mario Bros and Super Mario Galaxy have kept me going, but i do like to take bites out of niche titles now and then. My small list of gems mentioned above are the types are things that we need to encourage Wii owners to seek out.

These unique Wii only titles are becoming a double edged sword for the platform. 3rd parties are releasing these ditties onto a console which people are only buying for plastic boards and generic sports games. At the same time losing money hand over fist as they don't sell as well as their flashy 1st party brothers.

In summary we now know which direction Nintendo has chosen - how long have we got until these hidden treats are no longer available to us in shiny white boxes. Just a matter of time. So i ask you - find the games that matter, buy them, enjoy them make the Wii a console that counts for something.

At least No More Heroes 2 is out soon ( ahh poo, Q3 but still)

Long live the Wii in 2010 !!!